


Mai on Pakkanna

by The Rambling Mai (Loopy)



Series: Mai's Ramblings [4]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, No Bashing, Parody, Zero Punctuation - Freeform, and making up what she doesn't know, and sometimes lying just for her amusement, just mai interpreting everything in the worst possible light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27392491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loopy/pseuds/The%20Rambling%20Mai
Summary: Mai's secret thoughts on all the Avatar ships- and you know the funny is coming when the driest, most critical personality in the show decides to let it all out! Everything Avatar is analyzed and described in the most ridiculous way possible! A fandom classic!Today, Mai looks at one of the more suspicious ships to sneak its way into the canon: PAKKANNA!!
Relationships: Kanna/Pakku (Avatar)
Series: Mai's Ramblings [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1989946
Kudos: 16





	Mai on Pakkanna

**Mai on... Pakkanna!**

"Perhaps the second-most surprising official coupling of Avatar: The Last Airbender BEHIND MY OWN OVERLY COMPLICATED ROMANCE is the geriatric cuddle-fest between Pakku the Waterbending Master and Kanna the former FemiNazi.

"Kanna was born in the Northern Water Tribe where woman are prevented from learning any useful Waterbending aside from the rare and highly valued healing arts, and she was betrothed to Bender Prodigy and Man of the Year, Pakku. Kanna never had any bending ability at all and if we go by her INBRED socially-challenged grandkids then her family was hardly the sort that anyone would want to willingly marry into, but nevertheless we have to take her word for it that she somehow wound up engaged to Pakku completely against her will.

"Being a grounded, sensible young lady, she hopped on the nearest boat and began a world-wide search for a land of permafrost where she could be a baby-factory housewife without worrying about any laws or social conventions that would force her to stick with such a role if she someday decided to drop her kids off on the nearest doorstep and run away again. CLEARLY SHE'S BIG ON COMMITMENT. Her line eventually produced a hair-looped FemiNazi Waterbending prodigy of a granddaughter and a woman-hating chauvinist grandson, hinting that her reasons for running away to the South weren't as spit'n'polished as she would have us believe.

"Fast forward roughly THREE HUNDRED YEARS and Kanna's grandkids show up on Pakku's doorstep looking to get the Avatar some Waterbending training and maybe destabilize the whole tribe's social structure for kicks and giggles. Pakku's having none of that and gets drawn into Katara's RATHER TRANSPARENT attempt to draw attention away from the fact that her brother is busy deflowering the Chief's daughter in the nearest closet, culminating in the revelation that the pair are actually his grandkids. After a quick attack from the Fire Nation that proved the geezer had succeeded in training the worst army of Waterbenders that history had ever seen, Pakku hopped on the nearest raft to go find the love of his life and marry her before he could be fired from his job and then immediately sued for 298 years worth of child support.

"If you think that's bad, wait until I tell you about Iroh's antics."

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know the graphic has the ship-name misspelled. Mai is so concerned about fixing it that she died of boredom.


End file.
